A lazy weekend of reading in bed brought me to an old but brilliant Autostraddle article: a roundtable of writers thinking about the future in terms of how they want to feel, instead of what they want to do.
I haven’t read the book which inspired this piece, but the idea of envisioning goals in terms of feelings, rather than achievements, really struck a chord.
In the little apothecary, “how do you want to feel?” is the question I most often ask when helping people choose a remedy, or some suitable natural skincare. It works so much better than “what do you want?” Out of all the products in the shop – let alone in the wider world – how do you even begin to choose what you want, or figure out what you need? Identifying how you want to feel is a good first step.
At the end of a week which has brought the world tumbling down around me, I am pausing for a moment to reflect on what I have, and to feel thankful for it.
My partnership with a fellow human, who loves me with a kindness and wisdom that can still catch me by surprise. This week, when he heard some big news that I felt pretty shaky about sharing, he responded with a picture of a snail. I knew exactly what he meant.
The friends and family who trust my intuition, sometimes more than I trust it myself, and accept the creative chaos of my decisions as part of who I am.
My mother, whose tireless capacity for reinvention in the face of every challenge and change is a gift she handed down to me.
Tiny Dog, for bringing playfulness into our lives, and for consistently (doggedly!) reminding me to enjoy the simple pleasure of resting in a cosy home.
Our home, solid walls and a roof which hold us here, giving us stability, actually physically grounding us in this place, a blessing I have never really had before.
Endless inspiration from ‘out there’ – the corners of the internet where magic can be found.
“This is is portrait. Look at his flat, yellow teeth, his ruddy face. He has horns, and he carries a foot-long wooden stake in one hand and his wooden mallet in the other.
Of course, there is no such thing as the devil.”
— Neil Gaiman, ‘Fifteen Painted Cards from a Vampire Tarot’
Yesterday I had a message on my phone, inviting me to an interview at short-ish notice for a job I really want: local, ethical, well-paid and not desk-bound. Attending the interview, however, is going to be tricky… In two minds about whether I should pull it off – let alone whether I could – I drew a card.
Today I am a tattooed aspiring-tarotist.
How very unlikely that seemed, not so long ago.
I’ve spent about a third of my life wanting a tattoo and not getting one. Then, this afternoon – on the spur of the moment, with about 12 years’ consideration – I finally did. My reasons might make for uncomfortable reading, and not just for my parents (hi mam, hi dad, I still have no idea whether I would ever want you to read this), so I will leave you with the beautiful image and haiku which inspired it while you decide whether to read on.
Our lives are what we create, every waking moment, from the raw materials of existence and consciousness and time. And our culture is what we co-create with every action and interaction.
Our relationships with the land, with other-than-human beings, are part of our common heritage: we can claim this heritage, re-member these relationships, find empowerment through them and within them, only and always by honouring and loving what is shared.
We can heal ourselves, and each other.
We can guide ourselves, and each other.
We can empower ourselves, and each other.
In a world where ‘wellness’ is an industry and an indulgence, we deserve to – and we can – heal what ails us. There is no conflict with modern medicine or public healthcare: they save lives and cure things which were once incurable. But there is more to life than the saving of it.
I believe that tarot and astrology are mirrors for the soul, reflecting what might otherwise be hidden. I believe that divination is a way to find that still small voice within that knows.
This little corner of the internet is where I carve out a space to explore these beliefs, sharing in gratitude for all that others share.